1 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,496 Okay. She's not getting away this time. 2 00:00:13,497 --> 00:00:16,666 Mare: Esmeralda's worked here for eight years 3 00:00:16,667 --> 00:00:19,627 and has never taken the mandatory HR training. 4 00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:21,212 Okay. This is sanctioned, right? 5 00:00:21,213 --> 00:00:23,422 I won't get in trouble since this is for HR. 6 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:26,526 Oh, um... Well, I can't guarantee that. 7 00:00:28,345 --> 00:00:30,680 - [elevator bell dings] - Okay, guys, look alive. 8 00:00:30,681 --> 00:00:32,682 Ciao, I... [shouts] 9 00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:33,683 HR demon. 10 00:00:33,684 --> 00:00:35,768 No running. There's no running in the office. 11 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,289 Blonde Satan. You don't catch me, I'm too fast. 12 00:00:40,357 --> 00:00:42,733 - Stop that. - You will never have me. 13 00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:43,710 Ha! 14 00:00:44,987 --> 00:00:47,113 - [Esmeralda screams] - [locks click] 15 00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,531 What a dirty trick. 16 00:00:48,532 --> 00:00:51,993 This is completely unsportsmanlike. 17 00:00:51,994 --> 00:00:55,121 For those of you in the office who think this is extreme, 18 00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:56,497 I want you to know that 19 00:00:56,498 --> 00:00:58,207 I sent a lot of emails before it came to this. 20 00:00:58,208 --> 00:00:59,834 Esmeralda: They can imprison my little body, 21 00:00:59,835 --> 00:01:01,377 but not my spirit. 22 00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:06,108 {\an8}[The Scrantone's "Song From The Ninth Floor" playing] 23 00:01:30,532 --> 00:01:34,160 [both imitating trumpet fanfare] 24 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:37,371 It's the newspaper's 125th anniversary. 25 00:01:37,372 --> 00:01:38,914 Looking good for 125. 26 00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,708 Ned: We have such a great day planned for the old rag. 27 00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:42,877 We've got some antique pieces on display. 28 00:01:42,878 --> 00:01:45,046 And Mare here got the old printing press 29 00:01:45,047 --> 00:01:46,280 - back up and running. - Mare: Oh. 30 00:01:46,281 --> 00:01:49,759 And Ned tracked down some former TTT paperboys 31 00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,761 and they're actually gonna deliver the papers. 32 00:01:51,762 --> 00:01:54,055 {\an8}It's a publicity stunt, but I think we've earned it. 33 00:01:54,056 --> 00:01:55,514 {\an8}I know, but a bunch of news outlets 34 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:57,266 {\an8}are covering the day, so... 35 00:01:57,267 --> 00:01:59,060 {\an8}I don't know, if we go viral, who knows? 36 00:01:59,061 --> 00:02:00,519 {\an8}Yeah. Either way, it's nice to be 37 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,937 {\an8}subjects of the story for a change. 38 00:02:01,938 --> 00:02:03,272 {\an8}Remind everybody that 39 00:02:03,273 --> 00:02:05,399 {\an8}newspapers still matter in today's world. 40 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,568 - How's it looking? - So good. 41 00:02:07,569 --> 00:02:08,569 Whoop! 42 00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:09,904 You know, a couple apologies 43 00:02:09,905 --> 00:02:11,947 to add into some of the older articles. 44 00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,324 A little bit of context needed. 45 00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:15,409 I don't think we need to whitewash the past. 46 00:02:15,410 --> 00:02:19,264 History is history. Oh, my God. That's 1972? 47 00:02:21,416 --> 00:02:23,459 Reporters arriving in 15. 48 00:02:23,460 --> 00:02:25,604 - How cool is this? - Mm. 49 00:02:26,171 --> 00:02:28,231 Happy anniversary to us. 50 00:02:34,096 --> 00:02:37,556 Adam. Happy anniversary to us. 51 00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,242 Adam: Happy anniversary, bud. 52 00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,371 Ned. 53 00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,690 Happy anniversary to us. 54 00:02:45,691 --> 00:02:46,982 Marv: Wow. 55 00:02:46,983 --> 00:02:48,984 Would you look at this. 56 00:02:48,985 --> 00:02:52,279 Hey. Happy anniversary to us. 57 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,508 Well, you don't expect that at work. Heh. 58 00:02:56,118 --> 00:02:58,160 There she is. 59 00:02:58,161 --> 00:02:59,495 Here I am. 60 00:02:59,496 --> 00:03:03,165 My job today is to show what news could be 61 00:03:03,166 --> 00:03:05,209 125 years from now. 62 00:03:05,210 --> 00:03:07,670 I had some ideas that I liked. 63 00:03:07,671 --> 00:03:13,259 But then Marv had an idea, and that idea was "hologram." 64 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:14,802 Uh, that's it. 65 00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:17,012 He said the word "hologram", and it's on me 66 00:03:17,013 --> 00:03:19,574 to figure out what that could mean. 67 00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:23,352 Now, all I need you guys to do 68 00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:25,771 is just watch a few of these videos, 69 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,733 and then I can simply check a box on your HR file 70 00:03:28,734 --> 00:03:30,526 that says you completed the training. 71 00:03:30,527 --> 00:03:32,862 Esmeralda: HR training is like a tax 72 00:03:32,863 --> 00:03:35,030 that you have to pay to work indoors. 73 00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:36,675 But I don't pay taxes. 74 00:03:37,534 --> 00:03:39,201 I mean... [chuckles] 75 00:03:39,202 --> 00:03:41,930 ...of course I pay taxes. 76 00:03:43,039 --> 00:03:45,374 Of course. Yeah, I pay them. 77 00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:48,294 They're so high. But you have to pay. 78 00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:49,879 But you guys, this is gonna be so fun. 79 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,714 I just have to say you were in here, okay? 80 00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:53,340 You can chat with your neighbor, you can nap. 81 00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,176 I don't care. I'm not a cop. 82 00:03:55,177 --> 00:03:56,635 I hate cops. 83 00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:59,346 Boo! Get out of here. We're partying. 84 00:03:59,347 --> 00:04:00,765 So you can do whatever you want. 85 00:04:00,766 --> 00:04:02,600 Hell, you can even have a drink, and I don't care. 86 00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:04,310 Oh, my God. Except for you, Carl. Sorry. 87 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,519 I know you're an alcoholic. 88 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,813 - I'm so-- I'm sorry. - Oh, it's fine. 89 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,565 You know, I haven't had a drink in eight years. 90 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:13,360 But, uh, it's good to know it's still in my file. 91 00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:16,697 Okay. Very cool, see? That's the party spirit. 92 00:04:16,698 --> 00:04:19,700 Okay. I will see you in four hours. 93 00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:23,078 - Narrator: The purpose of this... - All right. Have fun. [laughs] 94 00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:25,498 I'm gonna be locking the door from the outside. 95 00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:29,293 - Narrator: Let's take a look at a few examples. - [door closes, lock clicks] 96 00:04:29,294 --> 00:04:30,729 Let me help you with that. 97 00:04:32,297 --> 00:04:34,215 - [buzzer sounds] - [imitates buzzer] 98 00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:35,925 - What did... - And what? 99 00:04:35,926 --> 00:04:38,344 - Where is the sexual part of the harassment? - [laughs] 100 00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:40,930 - Right? - ...by invading Helen's personal space 101 00:04:40,931 --> 00:04:42,264 without her consent. 102 00:04:42,265 --> 00:04:44,683 Brothers and sisters of the press. 103 00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:47,978 Welcome to the Toledo Truth Teller newsroom. 104 00:04:47,979 --> 00:04:49,188 Let me show you around. 105 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,315 We invented this sort of guerrilla, 106 00:04:51,316 --> 00:04:52,775 all-hands-on-deck style, 107 00:04:52,776 --> 00:04:55,528 where every employee is actually a citizen reporter. 108 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,905 Jeanie Deaver from The Chronicle. 109 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,140 Congrats on 125, Ned. 110 00:04:59,141 --> 00:05:01,826 - That's a fantastic accomplishment. - Thank you, Jeanie. 111 00:05:01,827 --> 00:05:05,412 Question. So, they are reporters, and also accountants? 112 00:05:05,413 --> 00:05:08,391 - Yes. - And which one do you think you're better at? 113 00:05:09,835 --> 00:05:12,753 - Um-- Boss, you want to take this one? - Ned: Yes. 114 00:05:12,754 --> 00:05:16,674 In Adam's case, I would say that his level of expertise 115 00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:19,218 is the same in both capacities. 116 00:05:19,219 --> 00:05:20,803 Okay. Over here, 117 00:05:20,804 --> 00:05:23,138 we have another accountant slash journalist 118 00:05:23,139 --> 00:05:26,100 working with our delivery driver slash photographer 119 00:05:26,101 --> 00:05:29,103 on a well-researched piece about a local councilwoman. 120 00:05:29,104 --> 00:05:32,273 If everyone's got a glass, here is a toast. 121 00:05:32,274 --> 00:05:36,819 To preserving journalism's future by protecting its past. 122 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:41,925 Together, you and I can fix America. 123 00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,243 Whoo! 124 00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:47,788 ? The Truth Teller today is her ? 125 00:05:47,789 --> 00:05:51,560 ? One hundred twenty-fifth birthday ? 126 00:05:54,546 --> 00:05:55,880 ? It's no mystery ? 127 00:05:55,881 --> 00:06:00,384 ? She's the first draft Of history ? 128 00:06:00,385 --> 00:06:02,386 - They're kind of good. - ? That's why We're throwing her... ? 129 00:06:02,387 --> 00:06:04,114 Can you take out that reflection? 130 00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:06,724 There's no reflection. 131 00:06:06,725 --> 00:06:08,809 That thing there. It's distracting. 132 00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:10,895 Is it, like, gunk on the window, or... 133 00:06:10,896 --> 00:06:13,480 Oh, my, my. 134 00:06:13,481 --> 00:06:14,940 Adelola: What am I looking at here? 135 00:06:14,941 --> 00:06:16,734 Travis: Well, I can't say with total certainty, 136 00:06:16,735 --> 00:06:18,235 but to the best of my knowledge, 137 00:06:18,236 --> 00:06:21,238 this is photographic evidence of extraterrestrial life 138 00:06:21,239 --> 00:06:24,241 accidentally taken by me, Travis Jason Bienlien, 139 00:06:24,242 --> 00:06:26,076 at 9:03 a.m. this morning. 140 00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:28,579 Well, first, it was Baron von Digit. 141 00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:31,248 So that I-- Excuse me. Excuse me. 142 00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:32,416 Bennett. 143 00:06:32,417 --> 00:06:33,959 - Oscar, hey. - Hi. 144 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,252 - How are you? - I'm good. 145 00:06:35,253 --> 00:06:36,295 Oscar: So, Ned asked me 146 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,338 to go to the retirement home 147 00:06:37,339 --> 00:06:38,589 and coax the old paperboys 148 00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:40,090 into participating. 149 00:06:40,091 --> 00:06:42,551 A little offended at first. Light ageism. 150 00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:44,428 But you know what? It's a nice place. 151 00:06:44,429 --> 00:06:48,432 And I met this fine young competent administrator 152 00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,434 who works there named Bennett. 153 00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:51,810 When I saw him today, 154 00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,687 he remembered me, I remembered him. 155 00:06:53,688 --> 00:06:56,565 An impression was made by both parties. 156 00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:57,608 - Hey. - Hey. 157 00:06:57,609 --> 00:06:59,234 Hey, the paperboys. 158 00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:02,529 From the Truth Teller's heyday before child labor laws. 159 00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,239 Child labor laws that I fully support. 160 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,492 We haven't actually got the printer going yet. 161 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,701 You guys are super early. 162 00:07:07,702 --> 00:07:08,994 Is that just because they're old? 163 00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:10,454 - Or-- - ? Stereotype... ? 164 00:07:10,455 --> 00:07:12,665 - That is the reason though, yes. - Well... 165 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,084 Okay. Can we just keep them away from the reporters 166 00:07:15,085 --> 00:07:17,294 until it's time for them to ride their bikes? 167 00:07:17,295 --> 00:07:19,338 Which... 168 00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:20,631 Can they still do that? 169 00:07:20,632 --> 00:07:22,675 Oh, absolutely. They love their trikes. 170 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,551 - Trikes. - Sorry. Did you say trikes? 171 00:07:24,552 --> 00:07:25,719 - Tricycles. - Tricycles. 172 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,221 They need the third wheel there. 173 00:07:27,222 --> 00:07:29,348 Otherwise, they'll fall over and get injured badly. 174 00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,975 Okay. 175 00:07:30,976 --> 00:07:35,187 I know that man. He used to bully me in school. 176 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,940 Prick. This guy. Yeah. 177 00:07:37,941 --> 00:07:41,318 Looks like he's had shingles for the last 30 years. 178 00:07:41,319 --> 00:07:45,781 I am absolutely delighted how things turned out for him. 179 00:07:45,782 --> 00:07:48,826 Deliver your paper, Sherwood. 180 00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:50,929 - Would you like some coffee, sir? - What? 181 00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:52,955 Beautiful. 182 00:07:52,956 --> 00:07:54,707 I don't think you have to lose the article. 183 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,625 I would just tack on another paragraph 184 00:07:56,626 --> 00:07:58,460 about how there was also a spaceship. 185 00:07:58,461 --> 00:08:00,379 You guys are unbelievably stupid. 186 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:03,132 Listen, our only hope of achieving clarity is to go back 187 00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:05,050 and try to recreate this image somehow. 188 00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,678 - It's our only hope. - Thank you. 189 00:08:07,679 --> 00:08:09,555 Jeanie Deaver. Cincy Chronicle. 190 00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:10,723 - Hi. - Hey. 191 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:13,517 Mare. I know who you are. 192 00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:17,229 I loved your series on online gambling addiction in teen boys. 193 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,857 Thanks. It's always best to start a conversation 194 00:08:19,858 --> 00:08:22,317 with a nice kiss-assy comment. 195 00:08:22,318 --> 00:08:25,946 So, um, I can't believe you're here covering us. 196 00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:27,948 Half our newsroom is on maternity leave, 197 00:08:27,949 --> 00:08:29,533 so we're a skeleton crew. 198 00:08:29,534 --> 00:08:32,202 Dang. What's in the water down there? Heh. 199 00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:35,456 - Sorry. You covered that too. It was lead, right? - Mm-hm. 200 00:08:35,457 --> 00:08:37,082 Anyway, your boss... 201 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:40,377 Is he always like this or is this just an act for today? 202 00:08:40,378 --> 00:08:43,047 Oh, no, this is Ned. Yeah. 203 00:08:43,048 --> 00:08:44,923 Super optimistic about the future 204 00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:48,135 and super sentimental about the past. 205 00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:50,596 The kind of guy you want in a foxhole with you. 206 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:52,264 Oysters, everybody. 207 00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,058 - Oysters. [bleep] - [juice spilling] 208 00:08:54,059 --> 00:08:58,062 All the staff at Twining Meadows are obsessed with Mr. Digit. 209 00:08:58,063 --> 00:09:00,230 - Okay, that's ridiculous. - Honest. 210 00:09:00,231 --> 00:09:02,066 I mean, like, if in 15 to 20 years, 211 00:09:02,067 --> 00:09:03,692 you're looking for a retirement home, 212 00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,569 you'd literally be, like, a celebrity there. 213 00:09:05,570 --> 00:09:10,324 Okay, I-I am of age. 214 00:09:10,325 --> 00:09:11,950 Stop. We're 60-plus. 215 00:09:11,951 --> 00:09:13,368 I'm 62. 216 00:09:13,369 --> 00:09:16,330 Okay, I'm gagged. 217 00:09:16,331 --> 00:09:19,416 How do you look this good? I mean, like... 218 00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:20,584 Detrick: Oscar's acting strange. 219 00:09:20,585 --> 00:09:22,044 I think he's flirting. 220 00:09:22,045 --> 00:09:23,712 I have a sixth sense for these things. 221 00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:26,465 The flirting. Not the Bruce Willis movie. 222 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:29,259 Although I can tell when people are dead too. 223 00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,929 Marv: Hey, everyone. Today, we celebrate the past. 224 00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:34,765 But I'm happy to announce I recently promoted 225 00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:36,809 a visionary young woman 226 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,852 who's gonna tell us all about the future. 227 00:09:38,853 --> 00:09:42,272 This kid is truly space-age. 228 00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:44,942 The Truth Teller's own Nicole Lee. 229 00:09:44,943 --> 00:09:47,111 - [light applause] - [music playing] 230 00:09:47,112 --> 00:09:49,988 Nicole: The year is 2151. 231 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:52,116 We can't predict how we'll get our news. 232 00:09:52,117 --> 00:09:56,411 Or if we'll still have crops or air. 233 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:58,330 Or if the Cleveland Browns 234 00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,041 will have found a franchise quarterback yet. 235 00:10:01,042 --> 00:10:06,255 But we do know one thing. Holograms. 236 00:10:06,256 --> 00:10:08,799 This is the best hologram I've seen in years. 237 00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,761 Ann: Marv is so passionate about holograms. 238 00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:14,739 The way I am about... 239 00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:19,017 gnomes. [chuckles] 240 00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:22,479 Nicole: I never figured out how to incorporate 241 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,523 an actual hologram 242 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,651 in the hologram part of the hologram presentation. 243 00:10:27,652 --> 00:10:29,069 But my boss liked it. 244 00:10:29,070 --> 00:10:32,239 And that's what matters, more than my peers 245 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,177 or myself or my dignity. 246 00:10:37,829 --> 00:10:39,997 Okay. What does the manual say? 247 00:10:39,998 --> 00:10:41,165 If the jam persists, we dial 248 00:10:41,166 --> 00:10:42,708 the number for the manufacturer. 249 00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,376 But I think the number is out of service. 250 00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:46,003 How do you know, you haven't tried calling? 251 00:10:46,004 --> 00:10:50,757 Because it's four numbers and two letters. 252 00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:52,134 Ned: How's it going down here? 253 00:10:52,135 --> 00:10:53,510 Mare: I mean, we just got her working, 254 00:10:53,511 --> 00:10:55,554 but I think we should do this, like, now. 255 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,014 - Before it breaks again. - Oh. 256 00:10:57,015 --> 00:10:58,807 - Where's your printer's devil costume? 257 00:10:58,808 --> 00:11:01,393 Oh, I-I just didn't want to get it dirty. 258 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,228 It's supposed to get dirty. 259 00:11:03,229 --> 00:11:04,938 What? 260 00:11:04,939 --> 00:11:08,358 Okay. This is obviously just a taste, but... 261 00:11:08,359 --> 00:11:10,194 Yes. Yes! 262 00:11:10,195 --> 00:11:12,529 - Really? - That's the ticket. Yes! I love it. 263 00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:14,031 - Thanks. - Ned: Um... 264 00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:16,033 Can I check out the inking system? 265 00:11:16,034 --> 00:11:19,036 - Uh, yeah, uhm-- It's back here. - Yeah. Thanks. 266 00:11:19,037 --> 00:11:22,331 Oh, man, that's so much ink. 267 00:11:22,332 --> 00:11:23,349 That's amazing. 268 00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:28,212 - God, you look so hot. - Thanks, mister. 269 00:11:28,213 --> 00:11:29,171 Call me Scotty. 270 00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:30,982 - Don't make it weird. - Okay. 271 00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:34,777 Narrator: Mary and George are dating. 272 00:11:35,979 --> 00:11:40,015 There are pet store iguanas with more chemistry than this. 273 00:11:40,016 --> 00:11:43,936 I mean, if this is so consensual, show us your sex. 274 00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,897 No? They're treating us like children. 275 00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:49,149 - [buzzer sounds] - Come on, that gets an X? 276 00:11:49,150 --> 00:11:51,068 That's how my grandma kisses me. 277 00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:52,135 [laughs] 278 00:11:52,136 --> 00:11:56,615 Yes, Carl. Oh, my God. Guys, you know, I love us. 279 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:59,135 This is like HR Breakfast Club. 280 00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:00,994 I think 281 00:12:00,995 --> 00:12:05,415 that we should make the HR videos, 282 00:12:05,416 --> 00:12:07,876 the kind of thing we'd want to watch. 283 00:12:07,877 --> 00:12:10,337 Who knows about harassment more than me, 284 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,880 a sexy, beautiful woman? 285 00:12:11,881 --> 00:12:17,177 So let's do it. For us, by us. FUBU. 286 00:12:17,178 --> 00:12:19,554 That is not what FUBU is for. 287 00:12:19,555 --> 00:12:21,848 Oh, come on. The principal. 288 00:12:21,849 --> 00:12:24,869 Here it is, the Breakfast Club principal. 289 00:12:26,271 --> 00:12:27,288 Let's do it. 290 00:12:28,690 --> 00:12:30,357 I'm sorry to say this. 291 00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:33,860 And I'm not sure that we have this type of relationship yet. 292 00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:35,362 You're getting worked. 293 00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,281 By who? Bennett? 294 00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:39,032 He's gonna get you in his old folks home. 295 00:12:39,033 --> 00:12:40,325 - Oh, please. - Look, 296 00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,953 it's not uncommon for people your age 297 00:12:42,954 --> 00:12:44,538 - to get exploited. - [scoffs] 298 00:12:44,539 --> 00:12:46,999 It happened to my mom. A guy named Brad. 299 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,292 We used to do puzzles together. 300 00:12:48,293 --> 00:12:50,127 He used to find the edge pieces so fast 301 00:12:50,128 --> 00:12:51,962 that I was blinded by it. 302 00:12:51,963 --> 00:12:54,006 He ended up having five different identities, 303 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,091 and he coerced my mom into signing 304 00:12:56,092 --> 00:12:58,635 some bogus investment properties in Iowa. 305 00:12:58,636 --> 00:13:02,180 I'm really sorry that happened. 306 00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:05,851 - Mm-hm. - But how hot is your mom? 307 00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,185 Is she hotter than me? 308 00:13:07,186 --> 00:13:08,395 Because if she isn't, 309 00:13:08,396 --> 00:13:10,397 I feel like it's a different thing. 310 00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:11,273 [sighs] 311 00:13:11,274 --> 00:13:14,318 Now, take her in your arms. 312 00:13:14,319 --> 00:13:15,652 Consensually. 313 00:13:15,653 --> 00:13:18,155 Yes. Yes. Go, go, go. 314 00:13:18,156 --> 00:13:19,865 More, more, more. Touch her bosom. 315 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:21,491 Should I teach you everything? 316 00:13:21,492 --> 00:13:23,994 Put your hand like this, like a cup. 317 00:13:23,995 --> 00:13:27,372 Look, take your hand, yes. And you put it here. 318 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:30,000 - I'm so sorry. - Oh, my God. Allora. 319 00:13:30,001 --> 00:13:32,711 Guys, we are making art. 320 00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:34,254 But at the same time, 321 00:13:34,255 --> 00:13:39,634 we are also fulfilling our corporate HR training. 322 00:13:39,635 --> 00:13:44,056 This is a big responsibility. Now. Boobs. 323 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:47,493 - Ned: Hey. Printer's devil. - Yes, sir. 324 00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:51,188 Fire up the press. 325 00:13:51,189 --> 00:13:52,874 Mare: Firing up the press. 326 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,025 [clanking] 327 00:13:55,026 --> 00:13:57,861 Ned: It's so important to have respect for the past. 328 00:13:57,862 --> 00:14:02,115 My dad abandoned my family when I was only 35 years old. 329 00:14:02,116 --> 00:14:05,202 But I still love so many things from his generation. 330 00:14:05,203 --> 00:14:08,455 Printing presses, high-paying factory jobs, 331 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:11,249 and good old-fashioned journalism is one of them. 332 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,417 Behold. 333 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:17,422 An actual newspaper printed on a Goss Community Press. 334 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:20,651 The way God and Gutenberg intended. 335 00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:23,136 Wow. Can you tell us 336 00:14:23,137 --> 00:14:24,930 how much this day cost all together? 337 00:14:24,931 --> 00:14:27,808 That's-- I won't-- No. 338 00:14:27,809 --> 00:14:30,894 It's rude to ask the host how much the party costs. 339 00:14:30,895 --> 00:14:32,646 - Yeah. - Next question. Yes. 340 00:14:32,647 --> 00:14:34,648 Money matters, though, since you claim to be 341 00:14:34,649 --> 00:14:36,400 one of the very few modern newspapers 342 00:14:36,401 --> 00:14:37,901 still financially feasible. 343 00:14:37,902 --> 00:14:40,278 - Okay. I-- - Yeah, the oyster budget is relevant. 344 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:43,949 All right, well, they were Kirkland oysters. Okay? 345 00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,742 Leftover from my uncle's birthday last week. 346 00:14:45,743 --> 00:14:48,286 The only cost was Fedex-ing them here from Oklahoma. 347 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,098 Does that make you feel better? 348 00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:54,626 What was supposed to be a party 349 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,002 celebrating 125 years 350 00:14:56,003 --> 00:14:57,295 felt more like a funeral 351 00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,797 here at the Toledo Truth Teller. 352 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:02,175 TTT's editor-in-chief, Ned Sampson, said... 353 00:15:02,176 --> 00:15:04,761 I can fix America. 354 00:15:04,762 --> 00:15:08,140 - With what, hon? - A Goss Community Press. 355 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,683 Yeah, that should do it. 356 00:15:09,684 --> 00:15:11,017 She misquoted me. 357 00:15:11,018 --> 00:15:12,477 You did say that verbatim. 358 00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,646 Yes, but she made it negative. 359 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:17,441 She filmed me vertically to make fun of my suspenders, 360 00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:19,234 but none of that's gonna matter 361 00:15:19,235 --> 00:15:20,986 when our paperboy stunt goes viral. 362 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:26,158 Hey. We all ready to ride, boys? Hope you've been stretching. 363 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:27,701 Doc told me not to stretch. 364 00:15:27,702 --> 00:15:30,430 He said I'd hear a snap and that'd be it. 365 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:34,458 Hey. Are you sure you want to go through with this? 366 00:15:34,459 --> 00:15:37,002 Of course. We need the photo op. 367 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,712 Do we though? 368 00:15:38,713 --> 00:15:40,338 Old men, to me. 369 00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:43,175 So I'm going to give the free trial week 370 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,177 at Twining Meadows a shot. 371 00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:48,972 Cute. We're gonna have so much fun. 372 00:15:48,973 --> 00:15:50,307 Not so fast, Jezebel. 373 00:15:50,308 --> 00:15:52,368 - What are you doing? - I'm not doing-- 374 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,353 Little guy's stronger than I thought. 375 00:15:55,354 --> 00:15:57,355 What are you doing? Why are you cockblocking me? 376 00:15:57,356 --> 00:16:00,025 Look, I'm your friend. I'm not cockblocking you. 377 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,234 I'm cock-protecting you. 378 00:16:01,235 --> 00:16:03,045 My cock doesn't need protection. 379 00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:08,450 All cocks need protection. Be smart, be safe. 380 00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:11,470 I appreciate it. Mind your own business. 381 00:16:12,622 --> 00:16:14,164 I'm not the one being worked here. 382 00:16:14,165 --> 00:16:15,457 If anything, I'm working him. 383 00:16:15,458 --> 00:16:19,169 I'm having my kitchen cabinets redone. 384 00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:21,129 Now, I have a free place to stay for a week. 385 00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:25,217 By myself or not by myself. 386 00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:27,093 {\an8}Adelola: Hi again, Councilwoman. 387 00:16:27,094 --> 00:16:29,513 {\an8}I'm afraid that my photos didn't come out. 388 00:16:29,514 --> 00:16:31,890 What do you mean, didn't come out? You took so many. 389 00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:35,393 Yeah. How much do you know about the gears in a camera? 390 00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:37,437 - Cameras have gears? - Travis: Yes, they do. 391 00:16:37,438 --> 00:16:40,065 And I apparently shot you in reverse. 392 00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,691 Fine. Just start. 393 00:16:41,692 --> 00:16:45,362 Just stand right by the window, exactly where you were before. 394 00:16:45,363 --> 00:16:46,613 - That's good, yeah. - Right. 395 00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:49,282 - Mm-hm. - Stay right there. Don't move. 396 00:16:49,283 --> 00:16:51,243 - Yeah, yeah. - [shutter clicking] 397 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,078 You each have your route. 398 00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:57,600 Now, go. Start spreading the news! 399 00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:07,968 Maybe we should've started them at the top of the hill. 400 00:17:07,969 --> 00:17:09,761 - Yeah. - [bicycle bell rings] 401 00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,429 Oh, God. Go around it. 402 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,265 Come on. Go around it. 403 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,642 Possible title: Deluded editor 404 00:17:15,643 --> 00:17:18,663 debases self at TTT funeral party. 405 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:22,190 Yeah. So Grand Rapids is definitely 406 00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:23,525 gonna do a hit piece on Ned. 407 00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:25,277 Ned: No, don't stop because he stopped. 408 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:26,987 That one's headed towards traffic. 409 00:17:26,988 --> 00:17:28,256 Oh, Jesus. 410 00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:33,660 Baby. You know in your heart that I would never do business 411 00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:36,079 with a client that I had priors with. 412 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,456 You gotta forgive my sins, baby. 413 00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:41,418 What I was trying to say with my film, 414 00:17:41,419 --> 00:17:43,628 Award Contracts Fairly, 415 00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:47,632 is about the human inability 416 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:51,636 to cross the gulf between men and women. 417 00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:55,140 Oh, my God. Matthew, you are a camera operator now. 418 00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:57,350 - Oh, what-- - Okay, keep rolling. Keep rolling. 419 00:17:57,351 --> 00:17:59,144 - Howard! - Jennifer. 420 00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,854 I gave you my little sexy body 421 00:18:00,855 --> 00:18:02,939 so Gerald could win that contract. 422 00:18:02,940 --> 00:18:05,817 You're twisting my words. I said I would try. 423 00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:08,903 While you were holding these. Do you remember them? 424 00:18:08,904 --> 00:18:11,323 - They remember you. - You're so good at this. 425 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,782 - Thank you. - Yeah. 426 00:18:12,783 --> 00:18:15,452 Those breasts used to talk to me. 427 00:18:15,453 --> 00:18:17,996 They told me that I was the man I wanted to be. 428 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:20,081 - [door opens] - Now they're laughing at me. 429 00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:24,544 I brought treats. What the [bleep] is going on? 430 00:18:24,545 --> 00:18:25,587 FUBU. 431 00:18:25,588 --> 00:18:27,505 Um, okay, HR training is done. 432 00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:28,840 Everyone can get dressed 433 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,425 and put your shirts and your pants on. 434 00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:32,344 You did it. Awesome. Congrats. 435 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,845 And you're all done. Except for you. 436 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,741 - You're coming back tomorrow. - Of course. I work here. 437 00:18:39,226 --> 00:18:44,648 I need to ask you something. A favor, really. 438 00:18:44,649 --> 00:18:46,274 Okay. Shoot. 439 00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:49,861 Look, Ned is so proud of this paper. 440 00:18:49,862 --> 00:18:52,489 And I know, obviously, he went a little far today. 441 00:18:52,490 --> 00:18:54,824 But I mean, The Grand Rapids Liberator is-- 442 00:18:54,825 --> 00:18:56,618 - Our sister paper. - They're doing a piece 443 00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:58,703 that's gonna make Ned look like an idiot. 444 00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:02,207 I really, really, don't think we should let them run it. 445 00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:03,392 You want to kill it. 446 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,878 [scoffs] I mean, I don't have a sister, 447 00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,524 but if I did and she was being a bitch, I'd be like, "Stop." 448 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:13,718 [sighs] 449 00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:15,946 I think we should call in Ned. 450 00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:19,057 Yeah. 451 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,243 Yeah, I'm about to get fired. 452 00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:27,440 What, no spaceship? 453 00:19:27,441 --> 00:19:29,651 I suspect they have, like, a masking technology. 454 00:19:29,652 --> 00:19:31,403 Mm. How would you know 455 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,071 if they were using masking technology? 456 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,907 Well, I mean, you'd have to do some infrared tests, probably. 457 00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,868 Mm. I mean, by that analogy, I could be masking right now. 458 00:19:38,869 --> 00:19:41,705 - What if I was an alien? - Travis: I hope you know you could trust me 459 00:19:41,706 --> 00:19:43,289 and wouldn't have to mask around me. 460 00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:45,810 Adelola: I don't know. I'd have to talk to the mothership. 461 00:19:49,130 --> 00:19:51,005 - Hey. - Take a seat, Ned. 462 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:52,316 Sure. 463 00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:55,385 I've been getting a lot of heat 464 00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:57,804 on this Glass Club crusade. 465 00:19:57,805 --> 00:20:00,640 Good. Means we're rattling the right cages. 466 00:20:00,641 --> 00:20:03,869 It's the wrong cage, Ned. I'm killing the story. 467 00:20:06,981 --> 00:20:09,691 I don't think I follow. 468 00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:14,028 A lot of our advertisers are Glass Club members. 469 00:20:14,029 --> 00:20:15,321 I've been holding the line, 470 00:20:15,322 --> 00:20:17,323 but since Mare thinks it's ethical 471 00:20:17,324 --> 00:20:19,075 to kill a negative story on us, I-- 472 00:20:19,076 --> 00:20:20,493 Oh, wait, wait. No, no. 473 00:20:20,494 --> 00:20:23,204 I was just trying to kill the Grand Rapids piece. 474 00:20:23,205 --> 00:20:24,414 The hit piece. 475 00:20:24,415 --> 00:20:25,558 What hit piece? 476 00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:30,044 Mare: The Liberator is working on a story 477 00:20:30,045 --> 00:20:33,465 that paints you as a fool stuck in the past. 478 00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,508 Covered in oyster juice. 479 00:20:35,509 --> 00:20:36,819 All right. And you... 480 00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:40,847 You came to Marv to kill a story about me? 481 00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,640 I didn't ask you to do that. You don't need-- Why'd you do that? 482 00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:46,352 - Mare: Because I was doing damage control. - Damage control? Okay. 483 00:20:46,353 --> 00:20:47,687 Today's not going that badly. 484 00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:49,522 Let's see how many old men died on trikes 485 00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:52,150 - before we say that. - None of them died. They're all fine. 486 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,527 - Are you sure? - Mo-- Most of them are fine. 487 00:20:54,528 --> 00:20:56,446 - What are you doing? - Marv: Hey, hey, hey. 488 00:20:56,447 --> 00:20:59,049 I know you two are dating. 489 00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:03,495 Ann: Hey, Marv, you want the door open or closed? 490 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:04,746 We're good, Ann. 491 00:21:04,747 --> 00:21:06,748 HR reported it to me. 492 00:21:06,749 --> 00:21:08,792 It's company protocol. 493 00:21:08,793 --> 00:21:11,795 Mare: Who would say crap like that to HR? 494 00:21:11,796 --> 00:21:13,713 Tell me. No, tell me. 495 00:21:13,714 --> 00:21:16,216 I seriously want to know what asshole is spreading rumors 496 00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:17,926 about me and my boss to HR. 497 00:21:17,927 --> 00:21:20,863 - And honestly, why you would believe that. - I told them. 498 00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:25,642 You told HR? 499 00:21:25,643 --> 00:21:27,185 Ned: I had to. I'm your boss. So... 500 00:21:27,186 --> 00:21:28,895 Mare: We said we weren't going to tell anybody. 501 00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:31,105 I know. I told them to protect both of us. 502 00:21:31,106 --> 00:21:33,733 Yeah, no, that really worked. Are you kidding? 503 00:21:33,734 --> 00:21:36,861 Can we not do this in front of everyone, please? 504 00:21:36,862 --> 00:21:38,822 Marv, I think that you are making a mistake 505 00:21:38,823 --> 00:21:40,865 with the Glass Club thing. 506 00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:43,493 We're just getting started. We can turn this ship around. 507 00:21:43,494 --> 00:21:46,037 Let me talk to the advertisers. We'll get them back onboard. 508 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,956 It's gonna be-- It's gonna be great. 509 00:21:47,957 --> 00:21:49,833 Marv: Ned, I can't tell advertisers 510 00:21:49,834 --> 00:21:51,751 our integrity is non-negotiable 511 00:21:51,752 --> 00:21:55,981 when the editor's girlfriend is killing negative stories. 512 00:21:57,591 --> 00:21:58,734 I'm sorry, Ned. 513 00:22:03,305 --> 00:22:06,182 I, uh-- You know, I heard that the Cincy Chronicle 514 00:22:06,183 --> 00:22:08,911 has a ton of reporters on maternity leave. 515 00:22:09,979 --> 00:22:12,873 I could go work out of their office for a while. 516 00:22:15,317 --> 00:22:16,609 Marv: Might be a good idea. 517 00:22:16,610 --> 00:22:19,547 Allow things to cool off around here. 518 00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:23,175 Okay. 519 00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:25,886 If that's what you want. 520 00:22:27,037 --> 00:22:29,098 Marv: I'm sure Dan could use the help. 521 00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:33,644 Okay, thank you. 522 00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:37,982 [door opens] 523 00:22:38,966 --> 00:22:40,651 Mare. Mare. 524 00:22:47,808 --> 00:22:52,997 [The Scrantone's "Song From The Ninth Floor" plays] 525 00:22:58,068 --> 00:22:59,503 {\an8}- Hey. - Hi. 526 00:23:01,822 --> 00:23:05,408 {\an8}Well, that was fun the other day, huh? 527 00:23:05,409 --> 00:23:07,493 {\an8}It was fun, right? 528 00:23:07,494 --> 00:23:08,721 {\an8}- Yeah. - Yeah. 529 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:13,499 {\an8}Would you maybe want to get a coffee tonight after work? 530 00:23:13,500 --> 00:23:15,168 {\an8}You know, like, if you're free? 531 00:23:15,169 --> 00:23:16,562 {\an8}A late coffee? 532 00:23:17,671 --> 00:23:19,565 {\an8}Oh, because you are a drunk. 533 00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:23,635 {\an8}I appreciate a man that can't control himself. 534 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:27,055 {\an8}- Oh? - [giggles] 535 00:23:27,056 --> 00:23:29,933 {\an8}- Let's do late coffee. - Okay. 536 00:23:29,934 --> 00:23:33,621 [The Scrantone's "Song From The Ninth Floor" playing] 537 00:23:33,671 --> 00:23:38,221 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0